green hills blue skies. - 2004-03-25 4:50 p.m. Sometimes they haunt me. The blue skies. And the green hills. And the white fluffy clouds. And Daffodils. And the wind. No, not the wind, it’s more of a breeze. Butterflies. And the smell of air. And the scent of flowers. And the sound of a distant stream. Sometimes I just want to leave everything behind… Listening: Sufjan Stevens, Holland

On election results - 2004-03-23 8:53 a.m. I have to agree with what Naddywoman wrote. I even turned off the volume so that I could only watch the results instead of hearing them babbling about “Parti kita” or “Kita menang”. But, I guess objectivity and impartiality were dead years ago. I tried NTV7 but the sight of that other dude (not the Wan dude, he’s okay) makes me want to puke. “Bawak berTENANG untuk keputusan seterusnya kerana ini adalah keputusan untuk kawasan TENANG ye, nama kawasan dia adalah TENANG…”. What kind of joke was that? I feel like kicking his ass. People were waiting for the latest results that could shape our nation's future and this bozo was blurting out dim-witted jokes that wasn't even funny in the first place. I hope that's the last I saw of this guy. So before I get another chance to feel like throwing my cat at the TV, I switched to TV3. At least their results are up-to-date, although I have to turn the volume off because of their unbelievably obvious political stance. Well BN won big this time. I guess the people kurang suka Che’ Det back in 1999. I also think that the economy was also a big factor in determining BN’s landslide win. At least BN has shown their ability to adapt by putting more young, new and religious candidates while the opposition still used the same 1999 issues and tactics. Personally, I would like a little more balance in our parliament, or else it’ll become a monopoly like TNB or Telekom, where inefficiency is the name of the product. But maybe the kick in the butt that BN received in ’99 provided BN with that realization that times are moving and they just can’t rest on their laurels anymore. Let’s just hope that they deliver their promises this time around and I hope the opposition will do better next time. My uncle lost against a menteri. I was hoping he would win but, well, the people has spoken. Or chosen. Or voted. Mat Jan's got a really funny and interesting take on the results. Oh, I found this under the seat of my car. I thought I searched my car a million times but you just never know. Thank god.

On walking dead - 2004-03-19 10:21 a.m. I'm a dead man walking. I lost my wedding ring. I can't remember where I put it. I'm like totally blank. Usually it's on the console table. Now it's gone, along with my wrist watch which my wife sent for hantaran. Alam nash-rah... Mintak-mintak jumpa lah.

On getting a new job - 2004-03-17 11:36 a.m. Whaddayaknow, I got the job… So, will I choose the job which pays more but *probably* more mundane and boring, or will I stay here. For Love or Money? Speaking of “For Love or Money?”, why is it when it’s 1 guy and 15 chicks - he’s a Stud, but when it’s 1 chick and 15 guys - she’s a slut. Is it because they rhyme? There's something wrong with our society (or the society that we try to emulate) and I'm not talking about the stud/slut - male/female perspective differences here, I'm talking about the whole idea of a tv series featuring a sort of toned-down gang-bang scenes. I don't know if I want to shoot the tv set or hug it. Okay. Lemme go get my gun then.

On elections II - 2004-03-15 5:55 p.m. You know you’re old (I would rather think of it as getting old) when your 18 year-old brother in-law says he only spent about 50 percent of his energy while you are already reciting tahlil for yourself because you are dying of fatigue after a session of one-hour futsal. Well, at least I’m younger than most of the Pemuda UMNO members. Okay, to be fair to everybody, I am also younger than most of the Pemuda PAS members as well. For all that is worth (and it’s about as worth as a cat’s fur ball) I am a registered PAS member. My State-level-high-council uncle sent me a PAS membership form and told me to fill it up and being the nice and thankful nephew that I am, I filled it up. Not that it matters a lot, anyway. I don’t intend to vote this year and I don’t really participate in their activities. There are quite a number of things that I don’t agree with BN or equally, PAS or KeADILan. They are all the same. For 4 years they could have done something about the many issues that plague their respective jurisdictions but the only time when you see them really doing something about it is when tragedy occurs as a result of doing nothing. Or during the Elections. Onanothernote, is it me, or is BN getting desperate this time? Just check out the commercials and advertisements on one of your favorite government-controlled TV stations and you’ll see the Kem. Pemb. Luar Bandar ads, Tenaga Ads and BN ads trying to remind potential voters of BN’s accomplishments the last 4 years (or more technically correct, the last 26 years). That looks a wee bit desperate to me. 4 years ago, I can’t remember this much political ads on the TV. But then 4 years ago I was never home. I was busy partying like mad rabbits in Bangsar (<sarcasm>Thanks BN, for giving us a place where we could party like crazy and if we feel repentant, there’s always a mosque nearby….</sarcasm>). I am actually going nowhere here. Neither are we, as we brace for the upcoming elections….

On work and stuff - 2004-03-12 5:54 p.m. They called for a second interview. Which based on my experience, actually means the time where they'll negotiate the salary, straighten out all the terms and conds and give you all the paperwork and forms. Since when did I put so much emphasis on money that I could even think of betraying the trust that my current employer put on me? Some people just don’t get that money is not everything. I am comfortable where I am. I think the money that I make every month is quite sufficient, even with that new house payments looming. Sometimes, we have to make sacrifices. I sacrificed money for my satisfaction with the work that I do and finish. I know that I could earn more working elsewhere and money will pay the bills and buy stuffs but it will not guarantee happiness with my job. I know how it felt working in a place I didn't enjoy 2 years ago. They’ve got bonuses and loans and the works, but in the end, it amounts to nothing if I am not happy. After all, we do spend a lot of our time working our asses off, we might as well at least enjoy our work. Choices shape our future. Some choices take longer for us to see its fruits.

on yesterday evening - 2004-03-10 11:02 a.m. Hulamaaakkk... pakai taaaaiiiii. I came into my office yesterday morning and the first question that came out from my colleague's mouth was, "Ada interbiu ke?". Of course I said no. But of course I had one. After all, I didn't wear my "office" shirt along with my "office" shoes and "office" pants for breakdancing. I didn't want to go but my wife told me to. I just went for the sake of trying. I didn't actually care if I got the job or not. As long as it makes her happy and as long as I think I can do it, I'm game. The pay is considerably bigger than what I'm getting now but the environment is a lot more different. But I doubt that I'm what they're looking for because they are from 'Lotus' environment and I'm more open source. They also use lots of interface programming but I still want to learn about telecommunications and security. They do products but I'm hooked on projects. Que se ra se ra. Hulamaaakkk... pakay taaiiii...

On Trying to forgive. Or not to. - 2004-03-09 10:39 a.m. Sometimes, trying to forgive someone is the hardest thing to do.

On the parliament - 2004-03-04 9:21 a.m. Gaji dah masuk, but I decided not to go to the Incubus show. I felt like I’ve been to a lot of concerts/shows and actually, it’s all the same, unless if you’re infatuated with Brandon Boyd or something. Waiddaminit, I’m infatuated with Mariah Carey and I didn’t go, no? Oh, I forgot, I didn’t go to that one because she said she won’t wear anything skimpy or sexy… (Readers: Sexist Pervert Fengh…) Well, the parliament is dissolved yesterday. I guess we have to elect our leaders now, eh? I decided not to vote this year. I refuse to do my duty as a Malaysian. I decide to take a neutral stance this time around. (Readers: Why Fengh? You wrote all this time that we must decide for ourselves. You are contradicting yourself. You also wrote that ultimately the people are the ones in power. Are you a hypocrite? Are you running away from your duties as a Malaysian? Has your infatuation with Mariah Carey’s boobs made you go stupid?) Here’s the thing. 4 days ago, a bunch of late 30-early 40ish women came to our house with calendars promoting BN, putting them in people's mailboxes. I was grabbing something from the car when one of them gave me 3 calendars. On the calendars, were the names of my sister, my mother, myself and another name – Fara Diba something. The problem is there’s never been a Fara Diba living in my house. When we were in Perak, my parents rented the house to my uncles and I am pretty sure there ain’t a Fara Diba in my family. When I told her that there is no Fara Diba in the house, she quickly took the calendar back and promptly changed the subject. I also don’t know much about voter’s list and its availability, but can a political party get the lists of voters from SPR? I really don’t know… If anybody knows whether we can obtain lists of voters and their addresses, than kindly explain this one to me. Thanks in advance. (Readers: Elehhh…. Cam baik-baik pulak. Sepak kang…. )

Congratulations! - 2004-03-01 3:34 p.m. Congratulations, Elin, it's a Dude! Onanothernote, what is this dude so happy about? Onanother-from-anothernote, I haven't received my salary yet. I have to grab 6 tickets to see Incubus (or Inkubungkus...) so I really need my damn pay. Please let money grow on my mango tree....

On Mars Rovers - 2004-02-26 8:30 a.m. Some of the pictures on the Mars Rover Website awe me. It intrigues me that Mars resembles Mojave Desert a lot because Mars is another planet. Ever since I was a child, the vast universe amazes me. We’re actually looking at the past when we look up at the heavens. Our closest neighboring star, Proxima Centauri, is 4.22 light years away, which means that we are actually looking at Proxima Centauri 4.22 years ago instead of the present Proxima Centauri. That also tells us that the vastness of the universe is mind-boggling. Our universe is so big that we have to measure everything by the distance that light travels in one year which is 9.46 trillion km. Thus Proxima Centauri is actually 9,460,000,000 X 4.22 = 39,921,200,000 km away. That also means that if we have a space ship that travels about 10,000 km/h, our journey will only take about 456 years to arrive there. We can try to build a ship that travels at the speed of light, and it’ll lessen the time to get to Proxima Centauri considerably, but based on that famous Einstein equation (you know which one, right?), our mass would be so big that it’s almost impossible. Yet, the universe is still expanding. The farther the object is from us, the faster it is, but the direction it is heading is in uniform, which means that once upon a time, the universe and all its contents come from one point. Just imagine, all the galaxies, stars, quasars, pulsars and everything that we know of were once squeezed in a space not bigger than the periods/fullstops on this page. Just imagine that the universe was once this small : “.” And then, something happened that changed everything. All hell broke loose. All equilibrium in that tiny dot went crazy. Our universe, was born. The Big Bang. And it has nothing to do with orgasms... This proves that I am a geek. What? There's nothing to be ashamed of... right? ;)

Version 2.0 soft launch - 2004-02-25 12:28 p.m. Against my lovely wife's advice I bought these. Kena daulat - Yesterday I had an accident. Very minor, 70 buckers paid to the CRV owner, no significant dents on my car but a 6cm gash on my bumper. Baru je 3 kali bayar installment. Kurang seronok rasanye. Tapi, kalau tuhan nak tunjuk, anytime je boleh jadi macam-macam. I hope I've learned my lesson. Jangan bawak macam pelesit. Jangan berbelanja sesuka hati sebab kita tak tau apa jadi esok & dengar cakap bini... Oh, testing broadcast...